


I'm No Hero

by Angelicfall67



Category: Avengers, Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 12:32:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4019854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelicfall67/pseuds/Angelicfall67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony doesn't want to remember. He doesn't, but he does. All he wants is one night of peace. Just one night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm No Hero

Music is blaring in the background, a mix of bodies pressing up against one another. The room is sin in itself, thick with lust in every corner. Just another one of Stark's famous parties. One whiskey is downed, and the burn is a slow burn going down his throat, not enough to wash away the acid air in his lungs. Another shot is barley enough to quell the blood pounding in his ears. Tonight, Tony wants to drink. He wants to drink until the alcohol replaces _every ounce of blood in his body_ , until his mind stops thinking of equations every other second. He wants to be able to sleep. To sleep without seeing all of those people that died because of him. Without dreaming of empty space, of feeling his breath being pulled from his very lungs with every gasp he takes as he desperately tries to get one last breath of air.

Another shot of whiskey, and he's on the dance floor. It's not dancing so much as he's trembling, a blur of colors forming before his eyes. His senses are hyperaware now, and he can feel the thrum of the music reverberating through his veins, can hear voices, though they're coming through as if they're in a filter. Suddenly, he's not there. He's not at his tower at his party. He's in that car, listening to the bombs going off. He's running outside, gunshots firing all around him, bodies going down, and _Christ, these people are dying, they have families they'll never see again, they're dead, dead, dead, because of him__

He's in the cave, water pouring over his face, suffocating him over and over again as the terrorists demands that he makes weapons for them. They have weapons, his weapons, they're **killing innocent people with his weapons and it's all his fault.** How many people have died because of the weapons that he's designed? He's with Yinsen, trying to escape, only to hear the deafening sound of yet another gunshot. Blood. There's so much blood, and _Yinsen is dead, just another person dead because of him-_

He's at his tower, and Obadiah is tearing out the arc reactor from his chest, leaving him on the floor to die. He's fighting Obadiah, screaming for Pepper to **_pull the damned lever, I don't care if I die, I deserve to die, I deserve it-_**

He's in space. Empty, beautiful space, and Pepper isn't answering. It's fitting that he should be alone when he dies. His suit is running out of air, and it's ironic that he's going to die in the very thing that he created to protect people. The last thing he sees is the vast emptiness of space, stars glittering above him and he thinks it's too good of a death for him.

Then, he's awake. On the floor of his tower, the room a mess, littered with empty cups and trash everywhere. Tony forces himself to his feet, unable to remember most of the night. He feels numb, can feel the hum of the arc reactor in his chest and, like every morning, itches to take it out, let the shrapnel finish what it started in Afghanistan-

Instead, Tony takes a shower, takes time to pick out clothes and goes down to his lab. He thinks he doesn't deserve to live, but the world needs Iron Man. If nothing else, he'll be Iron Man, he'll protect the world he lives in, even at the cost of his own life.

After all, it's a fitting way to try and make up for his crimes, for the crime he's still committing to this day. The crime of still breathing when so many people have died because of him.


End file.
